Sunday, July 9, 2017

What failure feels like....

"Hi XYZ. 

Thank you very much for your application. Although you have exhibited 
some excellent skills and have demonstrated high capability. Unfortunately, 
at this moment we have decided not to progress your application due to our 
business needs. We wish you well with your future applications 
and trust that you will find a suitable place as you 
are an excellent candidate.

Best wishes, 
PQR
Head of Graduate Recruitment"

In other words...

"Sorry mate, tough luck, we found someone better than you. 
Although you're not completely rubbish, we'd rather go with someone who 
already knows their stuff. Good luck finding something else, 
maybe someone else will want you"

We've all been there, the horrible feeling of job hunting and then receiving a generic response that you know has been sent out to many different applicants with just the name altered. Now, it's not the recruiters fault that you have not been able to "sell" yourself well enough, but at the same time, you may have already done everything in your power to appear as the right candidate but what I would like to talk to you about today, is not how to make your application better but rather to see a different perspective to failure, which can essentially help you.

I have been lucky enough to have such a supportive backbone in my journey towards finding the right role for myself, and over the years, I have seen myself grow to be a better person and a stronger candidate if anything, although having faced so many rejections. I can hands down now say that if I were to go back to every single role that I had previously been rejected for, I will now be able to obtain the role. But the reason behind it is simply because now I have received the feedback towards why I had not been chosen the first time around. 

The whole graduate recruitment process is a very competitive process, so even being able to pass the first round of the four step process is a huge deal although you may feel like it isn't. I struggle with failure and with recognising that the reasons why I was not hired is sometimes out of my control, which most of the time is my nationality. But nevertheless, I now know that because I'm an international student, I should choose the company I want to work for more carefully because of the HR support that I would be able to access as an overseas candidate whilst working for the company as the benefits and downfalls of an overseas candidate varies differently depending on the company culture and their networks included.

Failure looks different for you and me, for some people, failure is not being able to attain the grade they wanted, for others, it may be not being able to have a child, for some, not being able to find a soulmate before a certain age, for me it's a job, and failure looks different for everyone. 

However, in terms of success, a lot of people, do equate success to having a lot of money, although true, it does depend on the sector that you're working in but it is also majorly attributed to your bank balance, the things you own that others can see and the places that you choose to wine and dine, in other words, your Instagram and Facebook profile, literally.

So, when it boils down, I'd like to touch on how children with wealthy parents use their parents wealth to purchase things that they want and are proud of their material possession which they didn't earn themselves. See, when it comes to material possession, I have been fortunate enough to have been able to live a very privileged life, I chose to do things like work and gain experience from a young age but that was because I personally felt there were aspects of the world that I wasn't happy about. Also, being raised religious, I have always been slightly more aware about the emphasis paid towards helping others and I feel I'm more of a spiritual person when it comes to how I believe in the ying and yang concept and karma and how the earth is made out of energy and a higher power that governs it. 

Sometimes, when I'm on social media platforms and when I'm scrolling through my feed, I cannot help but notice that some of my friends have fared well for themselves, especially in terms of being an actor, or being a Miss World candidate for their country or finalists for the Miss World pageant for their country, or hanging out with celebrities, I have had many friends over the years, who I have carefully decided to detach myself from, because although success in the fame sense has brought them a lot of recognition, I am also aware that if I were to reach out to them, there would be multiple assumptions that would appear on their forefront although not intentionally. I'm quite a private person when it comes to my thoughts, my feelings and my relationships so, I'm unlikely to want things like that to be going out in my friends' circles especially in the case where I have no control over what they can share about myself. Hence, the reason I do try to avoid higher profile friends, especially there is nothing I want from a person except for their friendship and it would hurt me very much if someone were to accuse me of befriending people because of their new found fame, or because of their newly found status in society.

Having said that, when friends of mine share pictures of their Lamborghini, or their Ferrari or of their yacht or helicopters or whatever it is that they do share, I'm not envious at all, but rather, I question who do they actually belong to. Because, fair enough you're privileged, but I don't see how owning a Ferrari which you did not work for can be something you are proud of, the false sense of pride that sometimes overwhelms people who are raised in well-to-do families sometimes baffles me and how I turned out so different coming from a privileged family also equally baffles me. 

The amount of people who associate success with their privilege is sometimes unbelievable to me mainly because to me, I always viewed myself as a liability when it comes to viewing myself from my parents' perspective, mainly because they have the responsibility to feed me, clothe me and provide me with an education, which costs a lot over the years. Obviously it was their choice to choose designer baby clothes when I was younger and their choice to book first class and business class tickets for us, but at the same time, it is a privilege and it's good to recognise this early on. I decided to embark on my own personal journey to educate myself on my own whilst working and that is solely my decision. However, how you use your privilege is also as important as it's in many ways appalling how some people can be happy and content by the things that they own, post it on social media and belittle others who don't have as much. 

All is well if honestly you just want to show off, because some people do and in society, it has become common place for you to do that but the act of belittling someone who has less than you is frankly unacceptable, and to me whether you're the Queen of England or you're a pauper, you're exactly the same to me, because you didn't choose your heritage or your race or anything of that sort and it's important to recognise privilege. A lot of people think that showing off will make them happy but at the end of the day it is the relationships that we build that will allow us to have good conversations and satisfaction, although with Artificial Intelligence (AI), who knows how true this will be, but for me, I'd personally like to have people than things. 

I'm happy now with the least I have had in years and happy to say that it is all from my own efforts and everything I spend is because of me and out of my own initiative and when I do become a wealthier person, I know it would be on my own terms, but having said that it's not my main priority, but it is within my capability and then I will face a different challenge with the privilege I will then have and how I exercise my abilities and the newly found power that I will have especially when it comes to influencing others. 

There is a saying that goes:

"You are the average of the 5 closest people you choose to hangout with the most and your success is based on who you choose to spend time with" 

If this is indeed true, then I will be a very loved person because I'm surrounded by the most lovely people I have ever been with in the longest of time. 

Hope you've taken away something from my post and I hope that every one of my readers continues being humble in their journey towards success and if you stumble and fail, then only remember that good things are ahead. It's hard to see it now, but you're being saved for something much greater, something beyond your imaginative capacity and the saying is true that :

"Good things come to those who wait"

Till my next post. xx