Friday, December 2, 2016

Reading and writing

Hello, hello! The festive spirit is in full swing and it's once again that time of the year where we've got fairy lights everywhere (ERMAGAHD), music filling the streets, toys in every store, sale everywhere (not that I shop for things since I adopted a minimalist lifestyle) and best of all, discounts on flight fares! Hurrah! I always say that travel journeys expand thinking and allows gained insight to things you would have never thought about before. 

Hence, here I am again! This time, I wanted to talk about my love for books, and writing. I knew I was an odd cookie when there was once a motivational speaker that came to my lower secondary cohort to give a speech and he asked, if you wanted information and you had a video or a book, which would you go first and apparently, the answer was video and I was literally there like, "Mate, you haven't heard of reading books first before you watched the movie?" and back then, I thought he was the biggest idiot of all time, which I still think so too as well, although to a lesser extent. 

I'm that person or rather as I frequently refer to myself as, a baby whale, that can be left on its own just reading. I enjoy long hours at the airport when I make the dreaded journey home (not so often) as long as I'm equipped with a good book. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way and a lot of people prefer watching a movie or watching videos, which I'm not excluded from. But, in reference to information, I would rather like to read, whereas watching videos to me allows me to gain insight into other people's lives. I find people's lives fascinating and their daily routine interesting as we all live in this lovely planet called earth and yet, even if we were on the same course, or the same job, our daily routine differs extensively.

I find people so interesting, yet, my social anxiety only allows intervals of interaction with humans otherwise, I do feel hopelessly depressed. Judging by my personality, people take it as an outgoing and an almost never being offended type of character, but I do get worn down by people a lot. I am an introvert after all. I think often, people misunderstand what it means by being an introvert and an extrovert, people can be an introvert but outgoing, and people can be an extrovert but shy. It's possible to have any sort of combination when it comes to character and personality type. It comes as a surprise to a lot of people that I'm now comfortable to speak about my likes and dislikes and emotions which previously I haven't been so open about. 

I still think there is a barrier between myself and people, I highly distrust although always favouring giving the benefit of the doubt. But in most cases, I express myself most effectively through my writing. I feel that through my writing, I am able to be myself, to allow my thoughts to come out as raw as my thoughts would allow and never filtering my disapproval (although on many occasions I do- certainly in an academic piece of writing). 

The thoughts and code of conduct of others often limits us to expressing true opinions and often is the case when we choose to suppress our opinion for the benefit of being liked or accepted. I have spoken about this a couple of times in the past, where it's better to stand for something than to hold nothing of importance. I still feel the same way. The negligence of our own thoughts should be a crime of it's own, however, wording it is as important or otherwise of higher importance in a social setting. Some behaviours are deemed unacceptable when respect and gratitude are not observed at all times. However, I still feel this is rather cultural and in many aspects I enjoy the behavioural shaping of an individual based on their culture and appreciate the diversity although at times some culturally accepted behaviour do vex me tremendously. 

The freedom that writing gives me as an individual gives me independence and a platform to write and share my thoughts. However, till today, I still feel that some people feel it necessary to openly assume that they know me through my writing. Unfortunately, as much as I lay it out there, no one can ever know the writer. As much as linguistic study and literature reviews go, you never know the author, you know what they're thinking at a particular time, you will never know the author unless they allow you to know them and any form of false praise is never appreciated. Hence is such with creative minded people, transparent is the mind of the one who judges. 

Till my next post. xx

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