I may have written a post along the lines to this but I feel it important to discuss the societal norm that we impose on people, myself included in terms of deeming what is acceptable and what is not.
Recently, I met someone who was really blunt in speech and observed no regard to what other people might have thought about them. In terms of the question asked, it was a rather neutral question in which the question was not meant to offend, but rather, to make a query and gauge their opinion.
However, in terms of the manner that they answered the question, was in a matter-of-fact way and did not mean to offend, but rather would have offended someone else if they were in that category. To give context to the situation, it's like asking someone do you like rock and roll music and them saying, no, I hate it and can't be bothered about it. So, to a rock and roll aficionado, it may be offensive, only because they take great interest in that genre. But in terms of the person's opinion, it doesn't really apply, because it was a genuine enquiry of interest and the response was appropriate as it was their true feelings. But, a lot of us would have said, they could have phrased it better, myself included.
But truly, what we are always seeking is a positive response rather than a negative response. This brings to light the opportunity that we seek to be liked and to be perceived amiable in the eyes of others. I suppose on one hand, we dislike people because of their behaviour toward others and in another way, we dislike others based on their reasoning and their opinion on things.
There has been many research done that bases human relationships forming from the number of things that people have in common. If you look at popular dating sites, matches are made based on the interests as well, with the sole assumption that people with like interests would be more compatible together. But then again, in terms of attraction, there is the well known saying that goes, "opposite attracts". So, in that sense, it proves contradictory to the research carried out.
But really, is it? Because truly, the correlation is not between attraction and long-lasting relationships. But rather, common interests and the time span of relationships. So, if we're not attracted to people with similar most of the time, then, what is it that truly drives a friendship or a relationship? I have befriended many people who did not have any common interests with me but it was just lovely to have a chat and to do things together.
In terms of our ideas, it was hard to agree on the same thing, but we've been friends for 4 years, we've travelled abroad together and we have been keeping in touch ever since although there is not many if not nothing that brings us together. Hence, proving that what society things is why two individuals should be friends or spend time together, i.e. because they have things in common, void.
In the art of expressing ourselves, be it in verbal or written conversation and many a times, through body language, there is a lot of predetermined connotations on how someone should and should not act in society. This is clearly seen during the early 1800s where society associated behaviour with status and class and because it was a time when robust development took place, it proves a good case study to dissect. During the time, women are bound to their husband, being expected to obey them and to cater to their every needs, but over time, this idea has developed and is now seen as oppression. So, making a point that what society deemed normal before is now seen as backwards if practiced today.
So, in terms of opinion, is it so wrong to express someone's opinion in a blunt form, after all, it answers the question. Why is it in our society these days, it's very easy to offend but extremely difficult to satisfy. Maybe we've just grown so accustomed to having rules that the absence of it makes it difficult for us and then we cringe at the thought of actual freedom of speech instead of the make believe that we are all entitled to our rights. But in terms of our rights, do I have to campaign for something in order to be heard or rather, shouldn't it just be accepted that people accept people as they are.
But then comes in the denomination that if you can't accept it, stay away, but why must you mould yourself into an acceptable human being when really, from past historical figures, I'm not saying bad or good, but has had varying personalities and still managing to make a difference. If you notice, not every human being that is liked is well known. Having an opinion would change you but standing for it even when you're taunted or disliked, makes a difference, whether good or bad.
So, my point really is to say that society is weird and judgmental and I'm completely aware of my standing as part of the society, but I find it weird how sometimes, we get to absorbed in behaving in society that we forget that we're individuals with opinions of our own.
Til' my next post. xx