Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Independent doesn't mean you don't need/want someone

Often this may appear trivial to most people. But independence in a woman seem to scare off men. Why? They feel that the woman will not act childishly around him, would not need him to do things for her, would not want him to spoil her. To a certain extent, the want in this is at a fine line between existing and not existing. But, isn't it unfair not to think why she has had to depend on herself? Why she had to become independent?

Maybe, on one hand, this woman is extremely inferior of themselves and they have built walls around them that they would like to find someone who cares enough to want to break it down? Maybe she's just been hurt too many times before from trusting people that she actually has to be careful? Have you thought about that?

It hurts when other girls say things like, "Can you walk me back to my house? I'm afraid". Then who walks me back? In a different conversation, they pass a comment saying, "You're strong and independent, we're girly, so we need someone, you can take care of yourself". Wow, like seriously? Independent women feel sad too. Heck, sometimes we're more insecure about our flaws then most people. We are more afraid and we over think situations too much. Not all the time. We can actually cancel out the voice of people and not care. Often, independent women are referred to as "b*tches". 

I'm not saying I support feminism movements that go naked to prove a point. I'm talking about just a person's view on this matter. I think most people misinterpret words and even in any movement, there are radical things or people. So, I would just like to point out that I AM NOT REFERRING TO FEMINISM.

I AM TALKING ABOUT INDEPENDENT WOMEN WHO PEOPLE THINK DON'T NEED ANYONE.

You can't use someone and call them when you need them and then just ignore them afterwards. You can't call yourself a friend if you only use others but are never there for them. You don't know what anyone is going through in their lives. So, instead of judging them or saying mean things when they aren't able to reply your messages, why don't you ask them how they actually are.

If a woman shows you no expression and does not say that she is, it does not mean she isn't. A man does not cry when something bad happens and that is associated with not wanting to show his "weakness", but you know what? Men aren't the only ones that do that.

If a women leaves her child, she isn't going to tell everyone that she is so upset and she isn't going to wallow in self pity, stay at home and cry. She is going to go out there, strive in doing her best, do things that would make her happy. That isn't being selfish, that is making the best out of the situation. A mother loves her child the most and for her to leave them, trusting them in someone else's hands, is the hardest thing ever and the stupidest thing you could ever ask is to ask them, "Isn't it hard to leave your kid behind?". I understand your concern. But don't you think the smile plastered on their face is a facade? Something to hide the fact that she's upset. Do you even think people love hanging out with people who are constantly wallowing in self pity? NO. And that is why they have to show people that they are alright. But for all you know, they're most probably crying themselves to sleep. So, before you say something stupid, think.

Just be there for someone. I remember when I went to the hospital to visit a friend, I asked him how he was and what happened. But then, we spoke about different things. Because you try to make them think of something else. You try to make them think of things that would divert their attention into making them sink deeper in their depression. We cannot say things like, "Oh, isn't it painful?", "Won't you be missing so much?". Don't make them feel worse then they already do.

One more thing to take note of is, if someone's husband works overseas and if she is a single mother, taking care of the kids, having to send them to school and pick them up, send them to tuition classes and back, it doesn't mean that the husband doesn't love her or has someone else. It means he's sacrificing his time to provide for his family and so is the wife. She is sacrificing everything just to ensure that her kids would have a better future. It's something that they both must endure to make sure that their kids would have a better life. To parents, the success of their children is the most important thing in the world and they would make decisions that would appear sound to them. So, they may make mistakes, because life does not come with an instruction booklet. But, they're doing the best that they can.

They are independent, but they would need all the support that they can get. Life is a learning process, but sometimes, as you get older, even learning a new thing, like scanning a document is sometimes hard for them to learn.

So, learn to appreciate independent women. They can live without you. But they will love you unconditionally and they would make you feel like the luckiest person in the world.



Till my next post. xx

Saturday, March 28, 2015

If I were to tell you anything...

If I were to tell you one thing that I could be absolutely sure about, it would be something, yet it would mean nothing to you. One thing that may mean something to you, may not mean anything to me, and vice versa. 

Often we contemplate the issues at hand and digress from the initial plan. You and I have both gone through a thousand things. But we haven't done it together. But I understand you. When you say you're in pain, I feel you. When you say you're upset, I try to console you. She said, "I don't know anything about "it" and I don't know what it feels like, but I will be there for you". That touched my heart. Before I continue, I would like to point out that there will be references to more than one person but everyone will not have a name or a face or a direct reference to, as I would like everyone in my life to be anonymous in my blog and to remain anonymous from the public, as the people who I am close with has entirely nothing to do with anyone and anything and they deserve the right to not be known. This is for privacy purposes. I hope you understand- some references may be from books and memes and I hold no rights on them.

It's hard to understand at this stage in your life. You are a person, you may be a student, an academician, an author or perhaps you are someone rich or famous or even a snail. I don't know. But what matters is that you are someone. Whether or not you are acknowledged based on your talent or whatever it is that people prefer or something that you take pride in. You have to know that you matter.

Take a look at the big picture. You and I, we seem to think that we don't matter in this world. A world with a number of billion people. How is it that we matter? We may ask that. But everyone is connected. If not in a literal sense, but somehow. You could be my past, you could be my future, we may have met, we may never meet, we may have passed each other, but the cycle of life continues and in some funny, unimaginable way, we have crossed paths with everyone, through crossing paths with everybody else. Take mutual friends as an example. You meet people through meeting people, other people leave impacts on other people's life and when they meet you, they are the aftermath of meeting someone else and you are a continuation of that cycle.

We don't give ourselves as much credit as we deserve, but we are able to see things that can make other people feel inspired or let down. We ignite the spark in some people and we extinguish the fire in some people's hearts. Whatever the effect is on that someone, or some situation, everything happens for a reason. Great happiness comes from ultimate tests and reasoning boils down to understanding the understatement of a situation.

You come, you go, you pass, you leave, you come back, you spin around, you look at me, and all that's left to do is to stop complicating things and just tell them how you feel.

Want to hang out? Invite them.
Want to understand? Ask them.
Want to talk? Call them.

If we were as honest to people as we are honest to our pillow, there would be no complications at all. If I like you, I will tell you. If I'm not sure, I won't let you know. I might like you if you told me you did too. But thing is, I'm not talking about love. I'm talking about friendship. You and I could be friends with completely different views on life. We could be best friends, we could be normal friends, but in the end, everything has an end. Some faster than others. It's simple. You scratch the surface but you never delve deeper. I tell that to myself. Don't trust people too much, but don't trust people too little. Give people the benefit of the doubt and never wish something evil to happen to someone. Forgive, but never forget.

This has nothing to do with anyone, but these are a few things that I have been thinking about. Note that my thoughts originate from the movies I watch, the books I read, the time I spent studying. So, as much as it sounds pensive, that is all there is to it. A blog is merely a place for me to share my opinion and my thoughts and that is all there is to it. :)



Nottingham Games over autumn.



He asks, "Why don't you ever stop taking selfies?"



"Hey girls, I'm right here"

And allies is her name.


My favourite person.




I love them. <3 font="">




They are my life. They mean so much to me!



Papa and my snowman!



Kité






Eccentric is normal.








I fell in love with him, but I guess it's okay. I still think of him. I still imagine him. Joseph Moog. The day I met you, I found you!































































When you travel, you meet people. You run in the rain. You splash in puddles. You find people that share the same things that you love and love comes in the weirdest kind of forms but I am content. I love you. Now and forever. I can't delete the memories, but I can make new ones that will last me forever. Be a good memory to me. So that when I look back, I will smile at the thought of you- Note to self.

Till my next post. xx