Friday, December 4, 2015

Determination equals motivation?

Some days, it's really hard to get out of bed, be it to get to lectures, to get to the gym or merely to get to work. You feel that impending doom approach, yet, you and I both, we sometimes decide not to do that extremely important task. Why? I'm still not sure. Is it because we're just too lazy? Or are we just too tired? Or do we just have those times where we really just can't be asked?

But my thoughts flutters to one particular concept. Is motivation due to the determination that we have or is it motivation that keeps us determined? Does that make any sense? In order to be determined, there must be a driving force that wants us to get determined in the first place isn't it? So, definitely, we would need to have motivation from external factors first right?

But what if we don't have that motivation? Then, how can someone be determined right? So, I guess we have solved it isn't it? Only because theoretically, no one can be determined without actually having a goal, right? So, if I'm working, whether because I love my job, or because I go into the work place to see Mr. X or whether I work for the money, I'm doing it because I have something to achieve right? Otherwise, no one would actually do anything of purpose without an aim or a goal, hence, making the item that we wish to achieve which is our goal(s), our motivation.

My predicament?
It's not hard for me to go to the gym. Please don't be envious, it's only because it's a 5 minute walk away from home. But what I do have a problem with is staying away from amazing tasting food. If I see a muffin, I want it, if I see pizza, I want it. I literally want everything that I see. That is what makes me feel like I'm not being healthy. But I think of it this way, other people do it to lose weight, I do it to balance out the unhealthy eating. But some of my friends says that it doesn't work that way and being fit alone is not enough if I'm not eating healthy. But, I really want to eat all the cookies I want. I guess that's not going to happen. But, I really don't want to be eating salads all the time. It's just not for me, you know? 

I mean, sure, if your goal was to stay slim and have all those motivating images to keep you going. But when I think of being slim and that cookie, I always choose the cookie. 

Hence, the reason why I admire people like Cassey Ho from Blogilates.

I know it must be really hard for her as well, but I just love how positive she is all the time. You may remember my other blog post on Cassey a couple of years ago here.

But I try to cook the things that she suggests because it is indeed much healthier and I know it's hard but it's going to be worth it. Especially now, because of how much I've gained over the summer alone. 20kg is an unreasonable weight to be gaining over 3 months. That being said, I can't believe I actually gained the most weight while volunteering in Africa, which you can read on my post here

I've lost about 2kg in 3 days, which is good I suppose but I must confess that I have not been eating healthy. I have muffins for breakfast. How unhealthy is that? Am I right or am I right?

Anyway, if you would like to follow my weight loss journey, then do comment below or tweet me at @toofunnytocare .Don't ask me why my username is such. And I can guarantee you a hundred percent that if you were looking to lose weight, then, Cassey's workout will really help you. I can't follow her workout because I live in a house with many housemates and my room is too small because I'm at uni this year, which is no excuse really. So, in making final year count, I'm going to shed the pounds because what better way to do it right? Best to graduate looking super fine than looking like a potato. 

Another problem that a lot of people face here, in England is the wet weather. So, excuses for not jogging in the outdoors because it's too cold even during the summer. But I suppose the weather is a lot better down South, where London is that is. But I'm in the North West of the country which has the worst weather with cold, rainy days. 

So, I am working towards becoming slimmer, but I am also having too much of a predicament due to the fact that I would choose muffin over a salad. 

Till my next post. xx

Monday, November 23, 2015

Why not?

Hello, hello. 

So, I've been asked questions like, why do I not post pictures of myself on here? Why? 

I can easily answer that for you. I HAVE GAINED WEIGHT. I know my friends are just being nice and encouraging by telling me that I have not gained weight. But honey, when all your jeans except for the two you recently bought don't fit you, it means you've gained weight. I even have a muffintop. In case anyone was wondering. ha. Bet it was tmi (too much information) in the first place.

Anyway, speaking about having gained weight, I've put on more than 3 stones. Give or take, that is a lot of weight. I'm currently 66.5 kg (Yes, I ran to check). That is approximately 10 and a half stones per se. I am approximately 5' 7" and I'm bordering between normal and overweight. I feel so ashamed that I have gained so much weight but I only have myself to blame really. As of a few minutes ago, I worked out for the first time this whole year. 

For those who know me, that's extremely surprising because everyone knows me as this health freak. I'm sorry to say that Fat Amy is now the present form that I assume at present (pun fully intended).

I know with a lot of us, we know how to lose weight, we know what to do and we know what not to do but we don't actually practice it. Which is sad and has led me to gaining so much weight. I actually had 2 triple chocolate doughnuts and although it felt good when eating it. But I really need to ask myself if it is worth the extra weight gained from all the trash that I put into my body. 

I even drank a pint of diet pepsi today. I honestly am not addicted to soda but when I do have it in the fridge, I feel guilty to just throw it out. So, hence, making better decisions to buy a can instead of an actual bottle. These deals that they always have (2l for £1) is really annoying because it drives you to think that it is cheaper to buy the bigger one (I always for it- marketing strategy done right?). 

I baked cheesecake as well. If you follow me on instagram: amirajalfrezi you would be able to see the things that I bake and the random places that I decide to jetset to.

I'm now planning to lose 20kg and I don't have a set time yet. I'm really disappointed with myself that I've allowed myself to gain so much weight just over the summer. Just imagine gaining that much in 6 months. I've never imagined this and I definitely don't want to be fat during my graduation. Some people might be thinking that I'm pathetic or that I'm promoting unrealistic goals but I'm doing this for myself and am aiming to achieve what I think is an ideal weight.

Before any of you judges me, I'm Asian, so, my bone mass is less than most Caucasians to say the least and any weight that I put on are mostly in the form of fat. I know because I've been stuffing myself with a whole load of starch because I have been suffering from low mood swings for quite some time and I find comfort in food which a lot of people do. I am feeling a lot better now but this also means that I have to push myself to eat healthy and to shed the kilos that I have gained. 

On a side note, I wish I could type as much and as fast as I type on my blog in my dissertation as well. I need to push myself to do so many things because at this moment I am feeling extremely overweight. So much so that I have to pull my pants up and pull my shirt down because my clothes literally don't fit me anymore. I haven't bought new clothes though because I know that by buying new clothes, I will not want to lose weight. Will keep you updated with my weight loss journey and other shenanigans. 

Till my next post. xx

Thursday, November 5, 2015

It Failed. It CRASHED!

Well, I did mention about how I was doing the no sugar diet. And it has finally crashed after a month. Not even 3 months. That's how pathetic the outcome is. 

What I did was eliminate everything that contained sugar or added sugar by only eating things with natural sugar in it such as vegetables, fruits and mostly I found myself eating food high in carbs as almost everything contained sugar. 

I found my body craving for sugar and I had withdrawal effects which meant that sugar is indeed addictive, I craved chocolate a lot more and I tried eating more protein which satiated the beast for a while, but not for long, I felt the need to eat more things, I craved for weird things and I would eat even when I was not hungry. 

But at the end of the day, it taught me a thing or two. Firstly, now I prefer my tea with milk but no sugar. I am able to ration my sugar intake by not taking it in the raw form but if it was incorporated in say, mayonnaise, I would have it. But I don't drink soft drinks or juice as they have a lot of sugar, I stick to freshly squeezed fruit juice or fruits in general. I have also realised that it is alright to have candy every now and then just not always. 

By making a permanent cut in sugar rather than cutting it out entirely, I've been able to feel a lot more energised than I would feel otherwise. Having too much sugar did always make me feel tired. I especially love smoothies and drinking plenty of water is also key in making sure that everything in your body runs smoothly. It keeps you hydrated and it also flushes out the toxin from your body which I think is important.

Thence concludes my no-sugar diet. It has been a mind opening and physically challenging opportunity. Lest assured, I have enjoyed experiencing it for myself. 

Just to speak more about what I ate as well, I had pasta with sundried tomatoes and pine nuts, mostly olio rather than having it with tomato sauce, as I've heard how much sugar is added into pasta sauce. 

I also had lots of salad and incorporated feta cheese into my diet which is what I had most in Turkey. 

To satisfy my cravings, I made oven baked sweet potato fries which was helpful as it was sweet and savoury at the same time.

Another thing I found extremely comforting is in having tea. Tea helped in curbing the hunger pangs and it also helped in overcoming my sweet tooth. So, here's to tea. 

That about sums up mostly what I had during my time doing this no-sugar diet. Not forgetting the countless smoothies I used to make as those really helped me curb my sweet tooth. Bananas are packed with potassium and provides you with energy and I found myself helping myself to a lot of them. So, cheers to smoothies too. 

Thanks to everyone who supported me in realising this experience. 

Till my next post. xx

Sunday, October 11, 2015


So, no dessert doesn't kill me apparently. Still alive. Surviving the first day of 3 months without sugar. So, lesson 1. EVERYTHING HAS SUGAR. Even milk, but the natural sugar that we take is different from the added sugar that we consume. Additives that is, however people would like to call it, natural sweetener, or anything else are bad for you. Yes, they are gluten free. But that does not make it healthier. I have had to switch drinking coffee with the sugar and milk to just black coffee, and my daily breakfast cereal contains a lot more sugar than I expected. 

Muesli it is to avoid sugar, with plain ol' hazelnuts and raisins- note that raisins contain natural sugar and does not contain any more sugar than its fresh counterparts. Hence, it is okay to eat dried fruit, although I hate fruit and I hate vegetable. So, this is going to be a challenge for me. Well, honestly, don't hate fruit that much, I do however hate vegetable.

For the first day, it doesn't quite feel like a problem, so hey ho. Turkish delight can be stowed away without a worry, orange juice can be in the fridge without me touching it, and everything else should be fine, right?

Lunch? I had porridge, without sugar, yes, imagine my misery and filtered coffee. How do I feel? Well, not lethargic, not sleepy, I feel fine. Don't have withdrawal effects yet, but then again, one day is not difficult. I'm trying to cut out white rice and white bread because of the carbohydrate originating from sugar is a lot higher than in whole wheat. 

Also, did you know that skimmed milk contained more sugar than whole-milk? Thankfully I do drink whole-milk, and low fat yoghurt has more sugar than plain yoghurt. Imagine my surprise. Anyway, it's also shopping day tomorrow to get me some food. I cannot imagine not snacking on cake, or Haribo. This is going to be dreadful. Well, see you tomorrow, I suppose. I don't know what I'm going to eat. This is heartbreaking already. 

I can't have malt biscuit with my tea. And I can't have honey, although it's a natural sweetener, but I want to try to avoid anything that may trigger my sweet tooth. No popcorn as well. OMG! No popcorn. 

Day 1 has been bland food as I had not been prepared for this, and I could not be bothered to go grocery shopping, so, I have to wake up early in the morning tomorrow to go shopping. ugh. 

Day 2 was relatively okay, with mostly egg whites and chicken, I think that's about everything I had and I had tea, a few cups of tea.

Day 3 on the other hand, was a lot tougher than I expected it to be. I had some cheese and onion pasty, no added sugar, I checked. I had grapes for lunch, and for dinner, more egg whites. I also had snack, which was cream crackers with cheese. All other types of biscuits are laden with sugar. 

Went to the supermarket and got myself some carrots to have with some hummus, apples, bananas, sweet potatoes, baby gems, sun dried tomato, cucumber, salmon, creme fraiche, fish, bread (I found one without sugar added). It was a victory as I had to skim the shelves for the one without sugar added. Could not pick up tortilla wraps because it had sugar added, who knew. Last but not least, I think I've got enough food to last me a week, which I am extremely excited about!

So, already am feeling the withdrawal effect, I feel like munching on something, but really, I know I just want a bar of chocolate. Tea helps though. Just plain tea with no milk or anything.

Day 5 I'm really busy with work and I really want a bar of chocolate to ease the depression of having go through research and getting my dissertation written up. I'm drinking flavoured tea with no sugar and it's really no fun. But at least I'm still not giving into temptation of having a bar of chocolate. 

How many days to giving this up? Oh right, about 2 months and 3 weeks. But physically, I feel a lot better, I don't feel bloated or fat, I'm tired but I think it's mostly because of the amount of work I have.

Til' my next post. xx

Saturday, October 10, 2015

The 3 months challenge

Family and friends, I've decided to do the 3 month challenge of cutting out all sugar containing food which includes anything that contains preservatives and E numbers. For those who know me, you would know how hard it is for me to do. Excruciating is the word. For a person who consumes so much sugar, I am kind of surprised that I am not actually overweight. Although, I can bear witness to being extremely unhealthy. 

I don't even drink enough water and that is extremely bad for my health. I love flavour, food, if you know me, you'd know that my topic of discussion is always going to be food or travel. Because those are the two things that I love. I love unhealthy junk food and I love eating sweets, having ice-cream, heck, I still have got that tub of Haagen Dasz in my fridge, which I won't be touching for a long time. 

Anyway, the reason as to why I decided to do this challenge is because I have been reading so many things about how sugar is bad for you. I mean, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out, but I think just like me, I need someone to do it, to prove it. And what better way to do it than to do it yourself? Right? 

So, my current weight is 63.4kg, which is approximately 10 stones, or 140 pounds. Some people may say, oh, that's not much. But I am actually not toned, absolutely equipped with no stamina whatsoever and the heaviest thing that I lift is my box of juice. 

My goal is to assess how cutting out 3 months worth of sugar would make me feel and look. Acne is also fueled by sugar, so, in general consensus I would like to know how cutting out sugar would affect my skin and my overall performance.

What does sugar do to your brain? When you consume sugar, your body produces insulin to counteract the spike in your blood sugar level. And this isn't really good for you, because that spike is the thing that makes you crave for more sugar. It's like the modern day drug which is legal. You crave for more sugar time and time again and that is what causes you to gain weight and it's a legitimate addiction. 

I am deciding to put this to the test. As people have told me that if you take out sugar, you will have the withdrawal effect at first, but you will feel better after that, you'd feel a lot more energised and with this, it means, you will gain better control of your body. Making it easier to wake up in the morning, which is crucial, because you have no idea how many 9 am lectures I have. 

Anyway, putting this to the test here is Miss Amateur-sugar-loving-porcupine

Til' my next post. xx

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Final year... already?

It has already been more than 2 years when I arrived as a fresher. But it's my final year now. I don't know what to think of it. But I do know that I can take a lot of things from it. But before I list down my tips and tricks, I need to get out of this alive. Hence, I would like to share with you how these two days has been. Hectic. 

I hope I will be able to continue with studies and be positive no matter how tough the going gets. I mean, I doubt there is a shortcut, and because of that, I know that I will have to work extra hard. I honestly hope that things will get a lot better after this. But hey ho, who knows right?

No one explained what University life would be like, but I will keep you updated on what I am doing. Follow me on instagram: amirajalfrezi . I post updates there when I don't on here. I am up to no good, rest be assured and will get back to you soon.

P/S: I can't believe how some people can be sooooo rude. I'll write more about this soon. 

Monday, September 21, 2015


I was in Africa for approximately a month. When I say Africa, it is indeed a big continent and hence, I shall point the exact spot of it in the map: 

(Image from Google)

My journey begin via Dublin (only because the flight were cheaper). It has been one of the most expensive trips as of yet- bear in mind that I'm a student. haha

Anyway, from Manchester, I flew to Ireland, put a night there, then flew to Dubai, from there I flew to Dar Es Salaam, stayed a night there and then flew to Kilimanjaro airport from which I was picked up from the airport to the volunteer house. I volunteered using an organisation called IVHQ who tied up with a local volunteer organisation called Tanzania Volunteer Experience (TVE). 

My 3 weeks there, I volunteered as a medical volunteer, but at the same time, that didn't stop me from visiting 3 different orphanages as well. The experience as a whole is completely different from what I expected. Now, this may shine a different light on a lot of things and I definitely don't mean to influence everyone to assume ill things about African countries, but this has been my experience and it may vary for everyone else.

Personally, being mistaken as an African myself, I was always given quite a good price for everything. But as a foreigner, which is termed as Mzungu (it is rather offensive in my opinion) you're technically ripped off for a lot of things as when you come to their country, they just assume that you have the money. 

For example, the first day that I had reached Dar Es Salaam, it was nearing night time and all I wanted to do was just to get to some place safe and just have a decent rest. You see, I've heard so many scare stories of Africa, so I was rather frightened myself. I mean, it should really just be viewed as any new country that you go to but obviously I didn't know that then. 

A cab driver drove me to a hostel which was in close vicinity and charged me $20 for the taxi ride but because I rather just paid the cab driver than lose the approximately $800+ that I had in cash, I chose to just paid him and spent another $20 on the hostel, which honestly, I don't really mind as many place said the same thing. I promised the cab driver another $20 as I honestly had no one and although the cab driver was very privy as of what I was studying and where I came from and if I was MARRIED, which was constantly asked, I just had to trust this person that I didn't know.

From having my room almost broken in in the wee hours of the morning to being ripped off to arriving to my intended destination a lot later than expected due to bad weather conditions, I was glad I made it safely.

At the volunteer house, I met many new, amazing people and many locals whom I had created such a wonderful bond with them and truly, I miss them. My experience volunteering at the hospital made me extremely scared as I had to replace cannulas and remove catheters which I was extremely scared of but this lady, Sanura, she took me under her wings and thought me a lot of things like how to administer IV (intravenous) and IM (intramuscular) medication and although I was terribly afraid to have done all those things but I'm glad I did as I got a very hands on experience and from receiving a baby via a C-section to watching a woman give birth vaginally, that was definitely something that I will never forget.

Apart from that, going on a Safari was also one of the best experiences I've had. Although, honestly, I think I'm the type of person who gets bored extremely fast, so after awhile, I did get bored. But I got to see all the top 5 animals in the wild, watch a gazelle get chased by a hyena, sleep in a camp site with elephants being merely 500m away from me, and climbing up a safari truck and stargazing, it has been one of the best experiences I've ever had in years, although France is still unbeatable as of yet.

I established a really close relationship with my house mama, Felister and our house cook, Mama Neema, but really, she was more than that and I love them so much. I had so much fun watching Felister and Zaki connstantly fight with each other playfully. I attended church, got stared at, got honked at. Rode dala-dala(mini vans that act as public transportation) filled with 23 other people and survived being in Africa. 

All in all, although Africa has been extremely good to me, I sometimes felt that some poeple really just wanted money. If you went to some blogs, they would also tell you similar things like how they felt that it was a vile business where corruption was everywhere. 

A lot of people genuinely don't have money and they find it difficult to take care of their children, but I've honestly gained so much from this experience. $600 is how much it costs to sponsor a child to go to school, in case you were wondering, and this is for a year and education is not free. So, you can imagine how so little people can attend school. It saddens me.

But Tanzania is looking for change, CCM has always been the ruling party ever since Tanzania gained independence, but now they're looking for change, the people are getting more aware and Chadema (people power -peace sign) is what everyone is voting for. Results will be known in late October and if Chadema carries out everything that they have promised, we will see Tanzania becoming an a lot better country.

Needless to say, I will be going back to Tanzania soon. I just need to travel the world in 3 years if possible. 

Confession: It's extremely scary to travel to certain parts of the country or any country in any case as a woman and as a muslim that dons a headscarf. I know this might feel foolish. But as of now, I have been extremely vigilant and blocked out any rude comments but I am extremely afraid of facing physical harm but I love travelling. I really hope that it would be different. But with all the pressure being faced by Muslims, it's really hard. Honestly, it makes me sad. 

On another note, I really hope the Syrian Refugees will find a place soon. I wish I could help. I'm also looking for a job as a charity fundraiser, so, hopefully, God wills, I will be able to obtain one by the time I graduate in July in 2016. 

 Our house

 The Maasai Tribe

These pictures are from cameras of friends, my camera, well, I have similar pictures, but because I forgot to bring my DSLR, had to take it on my NOKIA. 

Till my next post.