Monday, December 23, 2013

Different realities.

Do you ever feel like your understanding of life is so much different from everyone else and sometimes it's much simpler being on your own? Do you ever feel like sometimes, life goes on too fast, that you may have a clouded judgement of reality. But, it's your reality, but it's okay, because you like it?

I think it's safe to say that I have not actually met someone who shares the same reality as I do. Of course, when I say reality, people would be like, we're living in the same world, we're going through the same things. But is it? I don't seem to know or understand a lot of things, but that's why I observe. 

Sometimes, I just feel like it's required of me to talk. But, all I'd really like to do is be alone and just go through the world in my mind. I know it's bad and some people would classify that as being an introvert. But is it really?

When did things we do define us? When did everything start making sense to other people as making sense? Does that make sense to you? 

I wish my life was a Norah Jones song, I wish my reality was as cloudy as my judgement of others. I wish my life was a fairy tale,some place where everything is magical and hidden. 

Wishing for too much?

Sometimes, I wonder how it would be to live in a place where I didn't know anyone and continue living in anonymity. I am living away from the place I come from, but I still don't understand the reality of others.

My reality is very much different from yours. My understanding of things will never be the same as yours. I may appear as naive and I may get myself emotionally hurt because of that, but maybe some part of my masochistic self actually likes being emotionally hurt, being detached from everyday life. 

People say, spend more time on your own, get to know yourself. What if you already know yourself too much that you become to complacent and you're happy with being alone. Is it okay to be alone? I think it is. I guess that's why I don't understand why God made us in pairs. 

Maybe I wasn't. It's just a presumption.

So, happiness. What is it? I picture myself in a really old movie with New York as it's setting, Norah Jones' Come Away With Me in the background. Seems like a dream to me. Seems unreal. But my emotions, they're always like that. I guess here's the only place I get to say everything I feel.

Photographs always mean a lot more than it should. I doubt my parents ever know how I feel, and I'd like to keep it that way. I guess it's true. There's this part of me, where everything is dark, yet so clearly drawn out. There's a land in my head where there are fairies and literal unicorns, I guess I still believe in childish things, I guess I still believe in love being pure, I guess I still do believe in humanity.

I guess I've been scarred too much to believe in your reality. I guess I just want things to be like how I imagine it to be in my perfect little bubble. I guess that's the reason why I walk with my head bowed down. I guess that's the explanation I give for feeling disappointed in how not everyone accepts your reality.

Maybe at one point, you actually think that some people understand your reality, but the truth is, no one does, we're all hurting in some way or another, sometimes, some days may just seem to difficult for us to go through, but faking a smile and going through everyday like nothing happened, is somehow a good way in managing to move on.

I think everyday of how low my self esteem is, but it never breaks me, because I'm used to it. I guess it's easier for me to handle things, by just saying, I'm used to it. 

I have this thing in me where I always feel like making other people happy, but when it comes to me, I always feel like the second choice, the last, choice, the last resort, I've loved the wrong person, let the wrong person love me, I don't understand love the same way you do. 

Friendship is love, family is love, relationships are love. Every love is the same but different. It's hard for me to go through everyday, it's especially hard when you don't want to. It's especially hard when the reality is extremely twisted.

I'm probably going to regret posting this. But if not today, when?

It's hard for me when my weakness is used against me. It's hard for me to be misunderstood. It's hard for me not because I need company but it's because I don't need it but I try to maintain a civilized relationship with people but never managing to make myself clear.

It's hard for me to always compromise, always to think about how others would feel but having people never sparing a thought for me. It's hard, but I'm used to it. So, it's not really hard now, but change those words to uncomfortable.

Am I the only one who value friendships, relationships, family and tradition?

Am I the only who gives a damn?

If your reality is the same as mine, then give me a shout.

Out of 7 billion people in this world, I'm sure someone's reality may be similar to mine to some extent. 

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

My shell.

My favourite picture yet. The only reason I love this picture, is because my mum overreacted when I sent her this picture. I don't really miss home much, I do miss my mum sometimes, but it's not as much as I thought I would. 

Maybe because I have been away from home before, so it's not really a big deal. Although it was NS and it was for 3 months, but still. I find my flatmates and most of my course mates really nice that I don't even miss home much. I think the reason that it's that way is because everyone is really nice.

But anyway, let's leave this picture. It's disgusting. Basically, it happened because I grated my finger while grating carrots while laughing. Yes, I laugh a lot. 

My complexion actually got a lot more fairer, still remember training under the hot sun everyday, and I hate being insulted and then when they look at my legs, they say stuff like. "Your legs are so fair, how come your face is so dark", AHHHHH, whatever, it's the past.

One thing that I hate here, is that everyone thinks I'm South Indian, like what the hell is that all about? I'm mixed, I do have South Indian blood in me, but still, they judge me for my accent, everyone knows I have an accent even when I speak in Malay, although I always think I don't have an accent. Yes, Fara, I'm talking about you!!

This is Kotryna, my Lithuanian friend, one of the few people that I'm really close to, and she's my flatmate. AND ALMOST EVERY SINGLE GUY HERE likes her. It's so funny to watch people hitting on her!


This was basically one night when we decided to stay up until really late, something that is so commonly done here, that we decided to take pictures. I love taking pictures because it reminds me of memories, moments and even songs. 

Meet Fabio Lombardo. He's Italian and from Trieste, Italy. He's really nice and this is his 3rd year living in England. He's funny and he HATES EVERYTHING except himself. LOL. We took this picture because it was a really windy night and I posted a status informing how bored I was, and everyone knows how I hardly post statuses, but after coming here, and not being able to blog, I find the urge to post every single thing. It's so pathetic! 

Vegetarian Pizza from Pizzetta Republic; still prefer the pizza in Sultan of Lancaster.

I finally watched The Notebook and it was really nice. But, I don't get how people can watch a movie again and again and again, unless it was Avatar, I think I've seen that show for so many times in 3D at the cinema. 

Well, not only Avatar, Harry Potter and some other action movies. Not really a huge fan of romantic movies, but I don't know, after coming here, I actually like Romantic movies. What happened to my horror movie fetish??

Which reminds me that I have to watch The Conjuring.

Oh, and living in the UK is so weird, you actually have to have a TV license in order to watch online TV shows or to own a television, unless you own a television and you don't watch anything on it, but play XBOX, or Playstation, then that's fine. 

An example of shitty food you find in Barker House Farm. I hate the food at the catered accommodation. TASTES SO BAD! I really want to cancel it but my mum says that I should have the first year catered so that I don't have to cook and so that I can concentrate on my study. Little does she know that it makes it hard for me to concentrate when I have horrible food. I don't miss Malaysian food that much, I hate NASI LEMAK. Every Malaysian I meet say that they miss Nasi Lemak, but I've never liked it, I skip meals whenever my mum cooks it, so, I really only miss my mum's cooking which is just, well, her cooking. Not Malaysian or whatever, just my mum's cooking. 

I love eating Maggi Noodles here, even though the cost of one packet of Maggi in the UK is the same as 5 Maggi Noodles in Malaysia, but I don't care! I love MAGGI!!

Such a blurry picture of my Mocha, but whatever, every night, actually not every night but almost every night, my flatmates and I hangout at Pizzetta Republic, because the Uncle there is so nice. He's SO SO NICE TO US!!! I REALLY LIKE THAT UNCLE! 

I PLAYED SLENDERMAN!!! I defeated him in like 1 round! So I'm so happy. Never touching that app ever again. Probably going to delete it. Still remember how we used to play that stupid game in Malaysia right before our A2 exams.

I like painting my nails, but only when I can't pray, so last month, it was turquoise and platinum blue. A In said something so funny about painting my nails. Not going to say it here.

I woke up one morning and decided to take a picture, but seriously because I was so sleepy and I didn't know what to do and I get that a lot here. Because I really want to do something, I feel so trapped, I want to run around, go crazy, go bungee jumping, just do something, like go to Manchester and come back, but every time I tell my mum that, she goes quiet on the phone and when I say, "Hello", she says "Hmm.." then a sigh and then a lecture.

What's the point of being 20 years old?

Oh and one more thing. Most of the people here are all 18 years old, and they all think that I'm 18 as well, but I feel so old that I'm actually 20, but I took a gap year, so whatever. I'm actually glad I did that because if not I would have met a different set of people and I might not actually even like them.

We had a movie night, Yes, I'm having instant noodle. I don't know what I would do without instant noodle. Actually I do, I WOULD BE SO WHINY! But still, the one next to me is Gauri, she's from India but she has been living in Dubai for the past 2 years. Next to her is A In Kwon, the Korean girl who lives in Malta at the moment. She has lived in Malaysia for 3 years, she has lived in Libya and literally had to evacuate to Malta when the riot started. Next to her is Shikha Bajaj. She is from India and she lived in Singapore for a year while doing her diploma. 

Shikha straightened my hair. I've only curled my hair, because my hair is already straight. But anyway, she made it straighter that it already was.

This is Telma, she is so funny. She's literally the most blur person I've ever known. She just doesn't know what's going on all the time. She's from Portugal. She lives in Lisbon.

I volunteered for the Lancaster University Students' Union (LUSU) for their Halloween day event, and in Malaysia, we have our own Halloween celebration but it's not really like what they have here.

I tried my hands on pumpkin carving for the first time. Take a look, it isn't that bad, I actually managed to make it quite good. 

My fellow Bruneian friends. (I was born in Brunei kay? Not Bruneian though) Rifhan and Pei Jing. They're really nice people.

This is the first time it rained hail and we were so excited because we mistaken it for snow for 2 seconds, then we were just like, bleh, but still posted a status to say that it snowed. LOL. But there is hail in Malaysia as well sometimes although it's always so hot.

Everyone thinks I'm crazy here because I have ice cream when it's so cold. But honestly, it just really reminds me of Italy and how we would have Gelato at every gelato stand during the winter.

First baking society, I don't really know if I want to go to France to study baking anymore, maybe I'll just keep it as my hobby. But I will still open my posh cafe one day. In the near future.

Tried the Jelly beans from Bertie Bott's every flavour beans. It was disgusting. Telma got it for us when she went to London.

Shikha cooked us Butter Paneer. It was so good!! It reminded me of all the times my family and I would go to Pakeeza and Tandoor Grill. Oh not forgetting the one place we always went in Brunei but it closed down, I really liked the food there.

The first time we ever met, I still remember how when we met our JCR reps and we were standing in a row and I'm so thankful that we're really good friends and I love the fact that we're so international, yet so understanding and we care for each other so much. I'm really so happy here, and I don't feel homesick because of them. But then again, I don't really get homesick.

Last Saturday, we had a charity bake off and we managed to raise 200 pounds for kids. So happy!!

That crazy night we decided to stay at Pizetta until 4.05 a.m. and got kicked out. Then we went out for a walk, and then we slept at 6 in the morning.

We went to Pizetta again but this time, we met Theo, the guy from Greek and J, the guy from India and we sat together. Theo got us a wrap from Ketchup although we only jokingly told him to. It was really nice of him.

I guess that's it. I typed out a lot of stuff.

I really like it here, I'm getting used to the cold, believe it or not, I'm actually liking the cold here, except the rain though, I can't stand the rain. I dislike the rain. There are so many other friends that I've made, but let's start of with my flatmates and we'll progress from there. 

There are some things that I don't really like as well, but whatever, there are always going to be things you like and don't like about a place. Going to take one day at a time and enjoy the moment. 

I really want to go for a walk now. So, sayonara!

Friday, September 13, 2013

5 cents

In the United States, it's called the nickel. But here, in Malaysia and Singapore, we call it the 5 CENT COIN. As insignificant as it sounds, there's actually something very important that I think everyone should know.

You do know how it's like, you find 5 cent coins everywhere, but you know what got me so annoyed and pissed because of a five cent coin? How it's treated.

When you go to the supermarket, you pay the cashier, RM10, let's say, for something that costs you RM9.95, but, because they don't have 5 cent coins, you just say, it's okay, keep the change. Naturally, right?

But, if you were in line, and you had to pay for that same RM9.95 item but you were short of 5 cents, hell to the no, you cannot walk away with the counter with your goods without first providing the 5 cents. Ever experienced that before? I'm sure you have, at least once in your life, I know I have. Numerous times before.

How is it fair that the merchant get to keep the 5 cents just because they cannot provide you with your 5 cents but when it is the other way and you're buying something, it is definitely not okay for you to not give the 5 cents. It's not like you can't pay, maybe for some reason, you decided not to withdraw money from the ATM, and you just don't have enough to pay, not by much, but just by 5 cents and it's not acceptable.

You know when you go to Baskin Robbins and get a junior scoop, it costs you RM7.95 and they just take RM8. How is that fair? If I were to give them only RM7.90, they wouldn't let me have my ice-cream. And what if I went to McDonald's to get a sundae cone which cost RM 1.05 and I had 5 cents short, will I be able to take my sundae cone? NO! That's your answer. NO. But if you waited at the cashier to get your 5 cents, they'd give you dirty looks and once, I went to McDonald's to get my sundae cone and I was actually waiting, not for my 5 cents, but for my receipt and the cashier was done and just waiting and then she said to me, "What? 5 cents also want?". I was so taken aback, I just walked away. 

I told my sister and she said, "Damn, you should have said, "Yeah, why cannot?" " and actually I should have.

I mean, think of it this way, I know you're actually thinking that I'm making a big fuss about a 5 cent coin, but think of it this way. If 300 people walked into a shopping mall everyday, and at least 20 people decides that the mall can keep their 5 cent, in one week, they would earn 7 dollars in average, that is assuming that 20 people let's go of their 5 cents. In one day, that's one dollar, for every working day, 365/366 days a year, they make RM365/366 just by you, leaving your 5 cents. For a big company, don't you think it's small change, but with RM360+, don't you think, you could put that money to good use?

Could even cover your electric bill, or water bill or maybe even both for a month, right??

So, think, what is it that you're doing, I mean, is it easy to get the money. You work so hard for it and then just say it's okay? And they just get it like that, without doing any work. Every nickel that you chip in does make a huge difference. Do this, every time, you intend to leave your 5 cent coin, leave it in a glass jar, at the end of the year, calculate how much you have. Don't be lazy.

Till my next post. xx

Sunday, July 28, 2013


Do you believe in things like signs? Do you believe in deja vu? Do you believe in fate? Or do you merely believe in coincidence?

When I talk about signs, I don't mean the signs you see by the roadside of course.

Not at all.

When I refer to signs, I really mean, have you ever seen something and exactly the next thing happens to you?

I remember reading in the novel "The Moonstone", the butler keeps a few copies of Robinson Crusoe because every time he's at wit's end at figuring out life's troubles, he takes a flip at his book and he somehow manages to read a line in that page that he flipped to.

I do believe in signs. Just saying for a matter of fact.

Every time I'm about to get my exam results, I always see the same numbers again and again, on car number plates and etc. When my exam results come out, I get that. I get so nervous and anxious, my heart starts to thump harder and my chest feels heavier that it gets so hard to breathe.

Every time anything happens, there's always a sign, when I go online, when I read a book. Everything I do, there's never a shortage of signs. I guess I am thankful for that.

BUT, that has never stopped me in believing in God. Because I really think God is the one who shows me the signs. But, I know that many people know about the energy of the Universe.

What energy you project to the Universe is what you get back. Like in the book, The Secrets, you think about something, really hard, in positive tense and that is what you get back. 

I do believe that the Universe and God is actually the same thing. People just want to find a reason not to believe in God.

We're all sinners anyway. Tell me you haven't lied once since the day you were born, tell me you've never broken a promise in your life. Tell me then I'll show you a sinner. A liar.

Truth is we've all made mistakes but some choose to ask for forgiveness while others try to shake off the belief that God exists. Some people try to only believe in our lives on this earth. Atheists. That there is no God and there will be no afterlife. 

Scientology. Something that is merely based from science, but if God really never existed, who created atoms and particles, quarks and lepton, the very fundamental units in our lives? Raises a question right?

I'm not a very pious person although I try to be good but of course, everyone make mistakes, as I've already said before.

Anyway, I'm deviating from my topic.

I do believe that there are signs everywhere, you just have to look carefully and not be biased with any situation, as we all know, we believe what we want to believe. So, don't let your feelings cloud your judgement and look, with no pre-existing emotions towards a subject matter and maybe you'll understand what I mean.

Till my next post. xx

Saturday, July 20, 2013

I'm so afraid.

Okay, probably just a nonsensical post but I thought I should blog anyway. I've been idle for too long and it's because I'm really doing so much of things that I'm so busy to even think.


I met someone, whom, one look at him and I really felt like I knew him. I've felt this once before but this time, it's really different. You know that person and you really can treat them like a friend. I was really talking to him like as though I've known him for years and I said things in a manner that I wouldn't tell someone I just met.


but true.

Okay, maybe I should share. But, really it's too embarassing and I really hope and pray that he doesn't read this or anyone I know for a matter of fact. But, here goes just my thoughts. 

So, this guy, his name is KHAN. (My name is Khan... :P) He works at Charles and Keith at Plaza Singapura, 2nd floor, right next to Perllini, right after you get off the MRT at Dhoby Ghaut Xchange.

I was merely browsing through the bags, me being me, I don't even look at people's faces and then someone approched me, of course, I was like, sibeh, so close, man. One look at his face and I was like, do I know you? He's handsome okay, just in case anyone is wondering, but truly, that's not the reason why I felt like I knew him, I actually hate many good looking guys without a reason or because of their cockiness, but usually there's always a reason... to me.

Anyway, he asked me where I was from and so, I said MALAYSIA.

Then he asked me a few things but I don't even know what I was answering him because my mind was really on the chocolates I saw downstairs, don't judge me okay?? It was the 2nd or 3rd day of the fasting month.

Then, before we left, he said something in Hindi, I understand Hindi, but I cannot speak properly, but this time, I really didn't even listen to what he said, so I stupidly said "Har?" to him and then he asked me if I didn't speak Hindi and I said NO. But actually it's to save myself from embarassing myself by speaking to him in my thickly accented and broken Hindi. Then I asked him what time we break fast at Singapore and he told me, 7.16 p.m. at that time, and then he said Shukriya (thanks) and I just said thanks to him.

AFTER going out of the store, I was cursing him for still speaking to me in Hindi, but then, I totally forgot it until whenever I go out, now, I'm in Malaysia, but I'm always searching for him in malls, and I feel so lame. Lol.

I think he's like 3 years younger than me? I don't know but I just felt like I know him that's all, a few times, I felt like going up to him and asking him if I knew him, but it would be totally absurd, but I feel really silly too but I didn't say anything. FYI, I'm not some kind of a crazy stalker to go search for him although I'll admit, I did try to search him on Facebook, but the number of search results with the last name Khan from Singapore is too long, so, I gave up and hah, I still have dreams of him. 

And, the whole time I was at Singapore, everyone kept speaking to me in Hindi and I was literally just smiling and shaking my head, when really, all I wanted to ask was, "Do I look Hindi to you?" 

Next thing, I know I should be happy because I finally get to travel alone and do whatever I want, but it's so scary, not because of the people or anything, but just having so much freedom scares me, like what if I decide on an impromptu sky diving front or something more reckless than that. I know myself and I know that I like being spontaneous and most of the time it's really risky and someone always manages to persuade me to not do it. I WON'T FORGIVE YOU!! *glowers*


The thought of moving to UK and probably residing there forever is also a very scary thought. I don't know, it's some kind of an adrenaline rush at times, but other times, I just find myself counting down the days, it's really a mixture of emotions and what more with so much going on in my life, I really need to press the pause button, but somehow I like living in the fast lane.

I guess that's just me and that day, I tried baking this marshmallow cupcake which I got the recipe from an online site and it was a total fail, but it's the fasting month at the moment and any cakes/cupcakes/quiche or whatever dessert made would only go to waste, so, I guess I'll only start baking again in August, but then again, I miss my macarons from Harrods, the purple one I think, must go again and get my fix, oh and strawberries, I really miss strawberries.

Last but not least, the recent scandal on the Alvin Tan and Vivian Lee, sex bloggers, (Alvivi) case, it was really immature for them to post a picture of the bak kut teh with the caption "Halal, enak, wangi, dan menyelerakan" and Selamat Berbuka Puasa, and on top of that they dare say that it was just for fun. It's offensive, NO, it's not offensive to post a picture of the bak kut teh, feel free to publish anything you want, any type of food, non halal chicken, pork, smoked bacon ribs, bacon, ham, anything you want, beef, lard, anything at all, mind you, it wasn't the picture that got them into trouble, it's the caption.

Some people are really being so immature as to saying "What's wrong with posting a picture of Bak But Teh?", when really it was the caption that everyone was making a fuss about, some people should really know how to get their facts right instead of just spreading false rumours. And really, if they wanted to post things like that, post Chi Kut Teh, why Bak Kut Teh? Say that the chicken is halal. Very dissapointing.

To think that that woman, Vivian Lee is a kindergarten teacher is even more intimidating, I wouldn't want kids of anyone I know to brainwash kids into thinking that sex ed is okay at a very young age or that it's normal for people to have sex out of marriage with anyone or how many people they want.

That's that to it.

Till my next post. xx

Saturday, July 6, 2013


This is merely just a thought that has been on my mind forEVER! I had to share. Alright, so, you know how kids these days are only interested in things like:


2) Phones and if you have an iPhone, you're somehow looked up upon. Oh, not forgetting to switch your phone every time Apple comes out with their new phone.

3) Relationships


5) Pretty boys/ girls

6) Swaggy clothes.





11) BRACES. What were once known as things that were worn by geeks are now so popular that even kids with no dental defects choose to wear them just because they think it will make them prettier and hence would be more of an ideal woman or some sort. Here, let me just say that yes, I have worn braces but because my dental flaw was rated as an 8/10.

12) PLASTIC SURGERY. Although this does not apply to all, but I daresay after Bong QiuQiu, Xiaxue and Dawnn Yang spoke openly about their plastic job done to whatever parts of their bodies, people are somehow beginning to think that it's okay for you to reconstruct your face by physical means by going under the knife. 

13) INSTAGRAM. We are in a society which faces only one excruciating decision making problem, which is choosing the perfect filter. Not to mention how proud some people are when they do not use a filter that they have to tag #nofilter Ever done that? It's silly. It's only a picture, why such big great fuss?

14) FACEBOOK LIKES. Not forgetting the attention whores- guys or girls (I don't really care) who crave for facebook likes and even inbox you to like their pictures or tag you on it so that you'd like their pictures.

Do you notice that almost everything I have stated above are referring to the use of money except for Instagram and Facebook?

Well, nowadays, I don't see people with real ambitions anymore. They classify it as two different things. A DREAM and an AMBITION.

DREAM: Something you wish to be but will remain to be a dream because you don't think you can do it or it's only going to remain a dream but it's not practical or some sort.

AMBITION: Something that you intend to study according to your means, never thinking of pursuing studies overseas, even if they do, it's to party.


Some people these days define these for me and it's not me who's coming up with my own conclusions or coming up with cock and bull stories. These are from my observations and also from people around me.

I have noticed that some people are so full of themselves, vanity is like a weapon, if you're vain, no one can approach you, they feel like they're on a different class and you're nobody especially if that person is handsome/pretty.

Some people, when you walk past them and you're about to have a head-on collision, they'd still walk forward, as though implying that they own the whole place and that you have to move your butt first. It's very annoying and I'll tell you exactly what I do. Usually, when I'm not overcome by my reflexes, I'll just walk up to them and then stare at them, and usually, it's enough to make them budge, but sometimes, some people are really rude and they'll just bang into your shoulders. LIKE WTH right???!! But that's the sad, sad fact that we have to face today.

Every time I go out, things like nice clothes on mannequins aren't looked at anymore, people look at people and judge their outfits. Really defeats the purpose of shopping because you cannot strip the person naked and take away their clothes can you? That's why I think our society has changed.

Kids these days are no longer like kids those days AND let me remind you that I'm not some ancient asoh (old woman) that's sitting in front of a computer while typing incessantly about my thoughts of kids these days. I'm 20. But, I've realised that kids these days don't even know stories like "The Ghosts of Christmas Past", "Lizzie McGuire" (wouldn't blame them, they won't know), and honestly just a lot of things, can't really remember at this moment.

They hardly know anything and even 9 year old kids these days are in relationships which make me feel like I'm going to be single for life. 


Everything has turned to be so materialistic. If you're not rich, then, you're out. It's hard to please people because everyone is judging you these days. Everyone hates one another for no reason. Friends say they care but they're never there when you need them and it's better being alone than being around them anyway, because everything is about them.

People who think they know you but when really they don't know. It's like walking into a masquerade ball, except that their masks are their multiple personalities. Do you know what I mean?  

Even plastic surgery are being given as gifts these days. It's like when you reach a certain age and you hate your nose? No problem, your parents will pay for your new nose. WTFish is that? ARE LOOKS THAT IMPORTANT? Then I'd be doomed in this world, I don't have a pretty face and I'm not fair. 

Yes, fairness. Everyone thinks that it's oh-so-very-important to be fair, isn't that discrimination? Even from studies and researches, it shows that people are nicer towards fair and pretty people. I guess life isn't fair but we never chose our colour, our family members, who we're related to, our genetic coding or anything. But we're judged. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. 

I don't know how some people can really just stand for all those kind of shit, when I'm really just dissatisfied with almost everything that's happening. Of course I think up stupid and wrong theories at times, but it's all in my head and I rectify it later. But doesn't anyone feel like something is extremely wrong?


Well, I honestly think that people should make their dream and ambition one for starters, why dream of something you cannot achieve?

After all, there goes a saying that if you dream, dream big and if you fall, you'll land amongst the stars. Right? 

Secondly, people should really focus on getting their grades up instead of thinking of their outfits for tomorrow and the days after that.

I think that people should really focus on achieving, on actually accomplishing things for themselves and not just care about material stuff that they did not buy with their own money but with their parent's money. 

I would hope that if you did want to buy something, it would be by working for it, carving your name in history, in actually making a change to this world. NOT utilizing your pretty face, or whatever to become a celebrity. Most of them don't even make any change, they just change our ideas of pretty. That's all. Some celebrities are so self centered that they think of nothing by themselves. Funnily enough, there are still people who worship them.

These are times when our REAL God is replaced with mortal ones. Religion, beliefs, cultures, the very pillars of our societies are burnt to ashes due to the absence of morality? Or is it just the refusal to accept the faith entrusted because it's too hard to follow or it's not fun. Oh, or maybe it's too restrictive?

It's funny, because some parents think that with the fasting month coming soon as well that it's okay to neglect their children's education for a month with a reason that, "they're too tired".

And also, facebook and instagram likes are more important than the marks and grades some people obtain.

Take some time to ponder over the things that I've said.

Is SWAG really more important than CLASS?

Is being dependent upon your parents better than being independent and established?

Is a pretty girlfriend/boyfriend going to guarantee your future happiness?

Is following the latest trends more important than having a proper education?

Is plastic surgery the answer to the unfortunate absence of a perfectly symmetrical face?

Is smoking cool?

Is everything that is happening alright?

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Train Insane Or Remain The Same

I've recently been very much obsessed by blogilates' POPilates. I've been following Cassey Ho's workout routines since 2010 if I'm not mistaken. I love all her videos. But, ehem, I don't actually do them, I watch, then tell myself that I'll do it later. I just need to know the steps but I NEVER do them afterwards.

But this time around, I'm truly motivated. After obtaining my thigh gap and now only owning less than my initial gap. I've got to step it up and workout like mad. As the title goes:- "Train Insane or Remain the same" and yes, it's on almost so many of Cassey's T-shirts.

The reason why I chose POPilates and most importantly Cassey Ho's blogilates is because I am a lazy pig. There I said it. But Cassey makes it really easy by putting up videos which you can find on her website: and she even has meal plans that you can follow and most importantly, she has a whole calender, and even a beginner's calender for those who are just starting. 

I'm currently following her beginner's workout calender and today is #Day 1 of my fitness routine.

So, the key principle to this is to eat healthy, follow the workout routines which are less than 30 minutes everyday, well, rest day is on the 7th day of course, drink plenty of water and do not eat unhealthy stuff.

I know many people say you should only have carbs on rest day but I think portion control suits me better. Why? It's because I know myself. If I'm deprived of something, I tend to binge, so, I tend to workout more when I eat carbs.

I do 1 1/2 hours every Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday to make up for the carbs. Carbs is rice in my case.

Well, I do believe that I do not want to be on a strict diet but I'd rather control my portions. Ask me to be vegan, and I'll have peanut butter cravings, which I'm allergic to by the way. But, I do plan to be a vegetarian, or vegan later on in life, not too sure which one yet.

No, no. It's an app from where they have blogilates workout that you can count how many calories you're burning but so cool right?

This is her 90 days bikini workout challenge. I mean, who wouldn't want to look that good right? Although, I'm very shy. *blush* I don't take pictures in my bikini. lol.

Okay, I'm going to sound really mean, but whatever, no one cares how you look if you're overweight, but if you've got a smoking hot bod, then, everyone wants to look at that butt.

So, it's only Day 1, but I'm already feeling "meh" after my workout and am really looking forward for tomorrow. Oh, and the best part about Cassey's calender is you can sign on them and I look forward to signing every single one of it.

I've literally subscribed to her everywhere, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, you name it. I'm obsessed. Like a freak.

One more thing I like about her is that she's not totally ripped, she's tone and lean and that was why I started pilates a very long time ago, but now I'm back and into POPilates. I know of so many people who ask me,  "Why do you want to work out? You're already so thin." Okay, maybe, I'm underweight, but my thighs are humongous, I hate my thighs, my arms, can flap like chicken wings, my tummy has no packs, so yeah, I may be thin, but I'm not happy with my body. So, I'm working out to get a Cassey-like body.

I've posted this before but I don't know why my arms looks muscular in pictures. Is it because it is? Meh, I don't know how to judge myself properly, I usually look at pictures to truly weigh an opinion on myself.

You can go over to her blog and see the real life inspired changes in people, they're really mindblowing.

Last but not least, I'm blogging every fitness crony and crack on my tumblr. So, check it out if you want. I'm really determined and I'll be posting pictures. erm. CLOTHED pictures because I'm really shy and perhaps you may see changes in my body. Oh and I'm really trying not to be some conceited biotch but I'll try, okay? 

Really looking forward when the 28 days is up. I'll put my measurements up in my next post. So, yay yay yay!

Today's hot person's post is : Cassey Ho.