Saturday, November 24, 2012

FEAR is what makes the heart st-t-t-o-p!

So, unavoidably, everyone has something they are afraid of, be it the fear of heights, the fear of insects, the fear of snakes, the fear of love, everyone has something they are afraid of. That might explain the numerous clinical terms for different fears. 

If you searched the list of phobias, on wiki, you can be sure to find it. To save you guys the trouble, I'm attaching the link here.

Who would have guessed that there was actually a fear of taking baths and it's known as ablutophobia or, what about the fear of hair known as chaetophobia. Wow, that's just mind boggling that some people are afraid of rather peculiar things. But, then again, who are we to judge, I mean, there must be a reason as to why they so much so detest or are afraid of something. Perhaps something happened to them in the past that made them so afraid of things. But, the fear that amuses me and which I sometimes say to my friends is:

No, I don't have this fear by the by.

What is your biggest fear?

My biggest fear is of heights. I get sick when I am required to be at really high grounds. I feel like as though my legs are wobbly, it's so jelly-like, that I sometimes doubt the existence of my bones. I feel a sickening feeling in my stomach, like as though I'm about to throw up, I feel like as though the wind alone is enough to blow me away and I'd fall down multiple storeys and die. 

How has this affected your life?

I think that by being afraid of heights, I'm restricted from going to higher grounds, it's okay if I cannot see the bottom, it's only when I can see the bottom and exactly how high up I am from the ground is when I get freaked out. I guess it could be because I used to get nightmares as a child of falling endlessly and possibly suffering a horrendous death. Being afraid of heights, I don't dare get on roller coasters or go bungee jumping from the Petronas Twin Towers. I guess, I am really missing out a lot in life, but somehow, I just wish the sickening feeling would go away and I would enjoy the feeling of being "on top of the world" when you're situated at higher grounds.

Tell us one of your experiences.

I can still remember going to the Lost World Of Tambun (Sunway Lagoon) in Ipoh and getting onto the Pirate ship. The Pirate Ship is a ship which rocks back and forth, each time going higher and higher, I was so afraid, especially because of the excessive "butterfly in your stomach" kind of feeling, that I started screaming and yelling until the operator had to stop the ride so that I could come off. I was shaken by that experience and I never did go onto that ride, even though I have gone there again countless times before.

So, I was doing some reading online and I came across the Astro's Fear Factor Malaysia. I've watched fear factor US edition and others before, and I still remember how the participants used to scream and cry when facing their fears. *shrugs* 

Face your fears!


Pay a visit to their Facebook page: Astro's Fear Factor Malaysia

So, this show is shown on Astro Ria (Channel 104). I've actually watched a few episodes, and I find it very entertaining, but then again, watching it is completely different from participating in it. It's painful to watch others suffer, just imagine being a part of it and facing your fears, your own fears and others were watching. Wow, now that, I cannot imagine.

So, who do I think would win, or I hope would win? None other than Hafizul Ahmad and Hefny Sahad, of course. My favourite artist however is Elfira, but I don't really think she would, no offense to her, but she seems too girly to take up the challenge. I do hope she will try though.

Or Pati and Zoey

But I know that many people are opting for Dr. Faiz, another one of our angkasawan (astronaut).

Well, we'll see how things end won't we. But, somehow, speaking about fears, I'm suddenly reminded of Kelly Clarkson's song- What doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger. (But you might die of a heart attack from being too afraid, right?)

What are you waiting for, don't you have to watch some episodes?
After all, Fear Factor House – Is your chance to experience Fear Factor live!

Till my next post! xx

Friday, November 23, 2012

Second Chances

Ring the bells because I'm one inspired women! *dingdongdingdongdingdongdingdong*

The topic for today is second chances, but before I continue, let me just make this one rule of having no-bullshit-love-stories! I am not going to talk about love or anything concerning love, teenage love, teenage dramas or anything related to love, but before the rules are implemented, I would like to say that I love my mom, my dad, my brothers, my sister and my cat. *meow*

I'm honestly sick and tired of listening to news about people breaking up. Like, don't get into a relationship, if you want to break up. We're too young for love, too old for games, too immature for serious relationships and in the end, we'd just be hurting the person we're in a relationship if it ended. So, this blog is for those people who want a fresh perspective, with no bullshit whiny love stories or teenager's issues.

Every now and then, I come up with new things to write on, I'm not sure if I have loyal readers, but I absolutely love writing and writing is my passion and I'd just love to share my opinion with the world.

So, second chances. What is it? You know, to be honest, for quite some time, I've been wondering about what second chances really meant. What was it? Everyone I spoke to, either gave me an explanation based on love or relationships. But is that really all to it? Just a few moments, I unraveled a rather dumbfounding mystery and my views has since then changed about second chances.

From a psychological point of view alone, I was rather wrapped up in disbelieve as the theory, proof and statistic data given proved that second chances was indeed a better option, the best option and the must-do-or-you'll-regret-it kind of option. Ha! Now, that was what I was looking for. I said to myself, "What in the world?" because to be honest, I always thought that second chances was a mistake, because everyone seemed to think that way, that it was indeed very wrong to offer someone a second chance. 

But, after reading a lot, investigating, tallying up my own statistical report, I do actually believe in second chances. I'm an optimistic person, there's no denying it, but, I have been quite lost for some time, I never really knew myself, or what I wanted, I always cared about what people want from me, how they saw me and how they want me to be. I was giving into society's wants and refusing to look into my own wants. Of course, I'm very well aware of being a part of society.

We all make mistakes, sometimes, even at points when we think that we're doing the right thing, but then, it turns out to  be the worst mistake of our lives. It could be that some people were caught in the moment and did as how they felt at that moment. Sometimes, people do realize that they've made a grave mistake and all they want is your forgiveness. But, sometimes, they just want a restart so that they can right the wrongs.

But, what is it all about really? Because, when I think of second chances, I think of my friend who passed away due to leukemia, I remember her, her smile, her laugh, her curly hair, everything. But I know, I can never have a second chance with her. My best friend, known for a short time, but gone for eternity.

 A second chance, is a human right, it is a necessity, because there will be a time in your life, when you wish you could have second chances. You wish that things did go the way you wanted it to. Mistakes are mistakes, humans are humans, pain is pain. You may have been hurt by your friend or someone close to you or maybe even your own parents, but that doesn't mean you should cut them off. I know of people who cut their parents off due to their anger towards them, and then regret it later on when the person passes away. 

What if, you were so angry with them, then, you realized that it was your mistake too, but  what if that person died and you had no chance to tell them that you're sorry or that you never meant what you said? What if everything that you did to them, hurt them so badly? I know, I can't live if that were to happen to me. Just imagine your mom and you getting into a fight, and what if she dies so suddenly *touchwood* and you had no chance to tell her you're sorry? I would rather die than to live another day longer than that day which I wish will never come.

We all make mistakes in our lives, but is it really enough to cut them off? How could you do that to a mother, or anyone who means so much to you? Is it so easy to just let somebody go just because of a simple misunderstanding? Can you find a replacement? Will you ever be happy of your decision? Don't you think karma will never get back at you? I'm devastated by the story I just found out of. To protect the person's privacy, I shall not reveal what the story is about or who it is about. But, bear with me.

You do, everyday, every second is a second chance, every second is a new way to start your whole life, even for me, I'm no longer the same person I used to be, just an hour ago. You never know, but the littlest of things in life can actually make the biggest difference. It's really up to you how you want to live your life. Because, what you believe is what you get, what you believe is what manifests. What you believe in is the core to your existence.

People ask me, how could you write about things and not wonder about what others thought about you? I told them this, a wise man once told me, "If you live in fear, you'd only hold yourself back, If you trust that your shadow is your reflection, then you'd be damned to ever know the real you, If you care as to what other people think, you'd always feel inferior, you live to please God, and to stand for what you think is right, not what others think is right" So, why pay any mind to what other people has to say about you? As long as you know yourself, your close friends knows you and your family knows you, it's all that matters.

I know that in my family, we always forgive each other no matter how heavy our crimes may be towards each other. Because, that's what true love is all about, accepting each other's flaws, accepting the differences, learning to compromise and loving each other despite what the world had to say about you. That's what families are for, they're the pillar of strength in which all your happiness is based on. They are the only ones who would accept you despite how you are. Even a man who kills countless of people, will never be hated by his own mother. His mother may feel hatred towards the things that he had done, she may feel upset, but the love that she has for her son will never fade away.

God always forgives us, so why can't we forgive others? Why are we so selfish, when the Almighty God has always forgiven us for each and every sin that we have made and asked for it to be forgiven. We are after all, slaves, nothing more than a peasant to God, but He is more than willing to offer you His Grace and Mercy. If the Creator can forgive, who are we to not grant forgiveness? I believe it when you say, "It's too hard" but just try to forgive someone who has hurt you. Whoever it may be, your mom, your dad, your siblings, your best friend, just an acquaintance, anyone, just try to forgive them. Life is too short to hold on to regrets and life is too short to hate anyone. Forgive, forget, and make up.

My family would do this, I would do this, your family would do this, will YOU?

I used to think this, but then, it's just not worth keeping ill intentions and feelings towards others. Just remember, what goes around, comes back around. So, don't sweat it, you don't have to seek revenge or anything foolish like that, just like time and God do his work. Just live your life and be happy.

After all, life isn't a video game, you can't always press restart, but there's always tomorrow, which is the automated restart button in life whether you want it or not.

Because chance is change, people do change, by turn of events, people do change and people you thought you knew may become strangers to you in split seconds, so don't hate, don't love, just be impartial.

I believe that everyone deserves second chances, I am more than willing to give people second chances, but I don't think anyone has wronged me to that extent to want to ask me for a second chance, after all, I always forgive, it's just been how I am. Silly forgetful girl who can never hold grudges against people for more than a week.

Just to clarify, I did not get into a fight with my mum or anything.

Not everyone is as nice as me. *beams* (joking) But seriously, never let someone down after they've given you a second chance. A second chance can come after a month, two months, three, four or maybe a year, but don't waste it, embrace it.


This is my "Listen to me, darling, mother knows best look" ;)

Sorry, couldn't help myself, if you needed to trade-in the person you were to give second chance to, just ask God. Say, your sister for Justin Bieber or something like that. :P
But, I'm just joking. Don't take my word for it. With this, I shall add a clause, "I will not be held responsible for any trade-ins made or never delivered, I hold no liability whatsoever to anyone even having the thought of trading someone in for a piece of cake or anything else ever being thought of"

Also, a second chance is meant to be given by the someone who has been hurt by the person, not someone else. Because, if the person never did do you wrong, then, it's just called giving them a chance, not a second chance.

On a lighter note, it's black friday, SHOP!SHOP!SHOP! Get everything today, it's that day again! Don't wait! GOOOO!!

Till my next post! xx

Sunday, November 11, 2012

The Adjustment Bureau

Haven't been online for a very long time, haven't I? I hope I haven't lost any readers. How have you all been? There's actually so much for me to update. But, I don't even know where to start. As you can see, I have reverted some posts to my draft. Oh well, it just means that I'm no longer interested in things and I have categorised it as frivolous.

As you can see, from my title, maybe, you would have watched the movie. Or maybe you've not. Well, basically, it got me thinking. Could it be that our whole lives have been planned out? That we meet the wrong person or the right people who seem like the wrong people? Could it be that something so right, and what was meant to be was rewritten and the plan was now replaced with a new one?

What if, remnants of the old plan led us back to somewhere we shouldn't have gone too? What if our memory was erased and we don't remember anything. What if there were people who were helping in making all these plans work? What if what we feel when we feel like as though someone is looking at us, was real? Wouldn't it perceive the way we thought?

What would we make out of it? To what length would we go. Would we rebel? Would we trust in them? What would be our perception towards the existence of God? Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Perhaps everything happens for a reason, but perhaps as well, that something was not supposed to happen, but the remnants of an old plan made it happen. But it was wrong at present, but it felt right due to the old plan.

Could it be that we may just be a plan? Just a game to some people or something? Could it be that one small thing can lead to a ripple effect? Conjuring many other side effects from the main disturbance? Could it be?

I have so much to say, so much to ask, so much to wonder. But, these days, I'm not the person who used to put empathy, feelings and mindfulness into things anymore. I'm more of a person who does everything based on hard factual evidence. It is very confusing and unfortunately, I do not hold the answers to the questions. I'm just like you. I'm wondering.

Anyway, I finish my exams in 2 weeks time. I'm booking my tickets now. Printing my interview transcripts, sorting out my University applications and how awesome is it that I've been accepted from every University that I applied.

Going to Australia and Brunei for the December holidays. Then Singapore with my cousin, maybe? Not sure. But, I am travelling a lot, but I want to get a part time job. Hopefully, it would be flexible. I have got book writing in progress, I've scratched out a few previous projects, need to rethink some parts of it.

I'm also learning D.I.Y things and I'm planning to start up my own Etsy shop. Tell me what do you think about it or if you would buy things and what kind of things would it be?

You can leave a comment to this post or you can send me an e-mail to :

You can follow me on twitter:
@AmyIsabella3  or @jellybeanami

My Instagram account is :

My kik messenger name is:

You can contact me in any way you want, any business opportunity or sponsoring, you can contact me the same way. And, note that, please don't ask me to send me pictures of myself in shorts or things like that, it's very disturbing. I'm very much interested in meeting new people. But, please don't be cheesy, flirty and guys especially, yesterday was the 20++ time, someone said "I wanna kiss you". That is not flattering, because I don't know you. I don't mind listening to sappy, sad stories, or happy ones. I don't even mind if you want to tell me anything or just get to know me.

Try not being sexual. Very disturbing. I won't reply if you do that, so I hope you guys understand.

Other than that, I love you all.

Till my next post. xx