Thursday, August 23, 2012


Okay, so I normally don't post 2 blog posts on the same day, especially not just a few hours apart. But this time, something just hit me and I couldn't hold in the urge to blog about it. I know that all the beliebers out there would be thinking about Justin Bieber when they read the title, but trust me, it's not at all concerning popstars or similar things in line.

I've been really stressed up about University applications, my A-levels (A2 to be more specific) and just studies in general. This has been pining on me for quite sometime now. I've been addicted to twitter and Facebook and it's really taking it's toll on me. I'm constantly wondering what's going on in the social media, that I think I waste so much time tweeting, updating my statuses and reading articles. Not only that, I read a lot. Like I'm down with 4 books and I still have one more that I'm dying to read. But, I'm not going to. 

I'm also currently addicted to searching random videos on YouTube and I found this two amazing guys, they're called the Lawlorffs by their fans and I'm officially a fan of theirs right now. Kian Lawley and Sam Pottorff. 

The one on the left is Sam and the one on the right is Kian. Of course, I like both of them but I find Kian super ridiculous and funny, so I'm going to opt for him instead of Sam. But I love them both. They're super cool.

Everyone who knows me well enough know that I keep myself updated with everything YouTube, so if there's a new YouTube sensation, I'd be one of the know-it-alls. Not bragging or anything, just stating a factual evidence of how lifeless I am. 

Here's a video, I keep watching. They don't only do this, but this is one that I watch everyday. :) (Kian!! *muffled screams*)

They're 17 years old though. :/ I'm 19. Oh well, you don't have to be young to be fans of theirs right? ;) Honestly, Sam has that amazingly adorable smile in this video, so do check it out. :D

My point of this blog post is to share some things and honestly, with everything that has been going on in my mind and with the unlimited stress, I've actually thought up something that isn't going to blow you away. But BELIEVE!

That is the word that came to me, hitting me, and blowing my mind at least. BELIEVE!! BELIEVE!! BELIEVE!

Out of the blue, I'm reminded of a song by R. Kelly. Haha...

Believing that I can. I mean, I kept telling myself, dear God, why is it so hard? God help me, but He was showing me the way all the time. Wow, maybe you haven't seen what I see but let me enlighten you.

Instead of feeling stressed up and laying on bed all day with my phone and browsing through the internet and hoping that some miracle would happen, I stopped for awhile and thought to myself, HELL NO! What am I doing? Am I going to let this stupid mindset of mind ruin things? Am I? Am I going to let myself to this to me? Am I?

NO WAY!! NO! NO! NO! I'm not going to do this to myself. What happened to the girl who believed that nothing was impossible if you put your mind to it? What happened to that girl who believed that everything was possible? The girl who believed in fairy tales. What happened to that girl? Where is she?

I'm constantly motivating others and telling them that they can do it. But what about me? I'm not even practicing what I preach. I'm letting the world pass me by and I'm hoping for it to come to a stand still. What is this madness? What am I doing? These things came like a bullet, hitting me as I cringed in pain. (literally, I'm having a terrible headache now)

Believe. Believe is a really strong word. It can either make you or break you. Depending on what you believe in. You have to believe that you can and the only limit is the sky. Nothing can stop you. You must believe that you can. You must! Because no one else can believe for you. Only you can. You have to determine what you set your mind to. You have to. You have to believe that nothing can stop you that nothing can be intimidating enough to scare you or to want you to believe that you can't.

I'm sure you remember this from Alice and Wonderland. You know, the mind is actually an amazing mechanism. It can do so much. But we're always restricting ourselves from overcoming the boundaries and mental blocks in our mind. We're always searching for reasons not to do something. For instance, you set your alarm at 6.00 a.m. in the morning, thinking to yourself that you want to be productive and you want to do some revision, but then, you convince yourself that it isn't important and you find reasons to be lazy and you forget about your reason to waking up and you just off the alarm and continue to sleep.

Have you ever done this before? I know I have. I always find reasons to do something else rather than to put my mind, body and soul to it. Sometimes, you can even call this procrastination. It's another poison in life. Delaying life's greatest rewards. What you have to do is do it, at that moment, be determined and believe that you can get up and do it. Don't wait for tomorrow.

You never know what tomorrow holds. Honestly, like your mom might even come up with some ridiculous plan that you've never thought of and your plans would just be postponed to another day. So, why wait? Time is precious. Time is gold. Time is of the essence, really. You have to do it at that moment. DON'T WAIT. I cannot stress how important it is to not waste time and how important it is to be determined and to believe in yourself that you can do something.

Honestly, if you can dream it. Then you have to believe it and when you truly believe in it, you've got to go all out to achieve it. Be a big dreamer. They said don't build castles in the sky. But I say, build castles in the sky, believe you can do it, rush through the clouds and conquer the Universe.

They have this theory of the Universe that states that if you believe in something, then, it will come true. Because, when you send out energy to the Universe, be it negative or positive, it would always favour your believe. So, why believe that you can't? BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN! Believe it. Anything you're thinking right now, believe in yourself that you can do it. Believe that you will do something to make it happen. However impossible it may seem. No matter what people tell you, believe that you can.

 Look, no matter what others says and no matter what you read that says things are impossible. Don't believe if you believe something else and if you can find a reason to question it, then, by all means, do question it. Listen, they used to think the earth was flat, and look how wrong they were. 

They used to think that the smallest particles were the subatomic particles like protons, electrons and neutrons, but then they discovered leptons and quarks. Everything is not as it seems. Nothing can be as it is. It just takes a little effort, perseverance, determination and a whole lot of energy directed in achieving things.

What happened to me was, I started thinking that I don't have enough time, my University application is going to be a mess, I know I've got all A's but how do I apply when all the other students applying would also get the same grades as I would and I need to get straight A*. What must I do? How can I study? I'm so lazy. I just need to release this stress. 

But then, I stopped and thought to myself. All this self inflicted stress is coming from myself. I have to stop thinking and start acting. I have to believe that I can. If I don't believe in myself, then, why would anyone believe in me?

Why would anyone want to offer me a place in their University if I myself refuse to believe that I can? I kept whining to my mum that I didn't want to do medicine. But, then, I thought to myself, am I that selfish to let all those dying children, adults and humans in generals to continue to suffer just because of one selfish little kid? Am I going to give up my child life's dream just to do chef training because it's much easier and exciting? Am I really that selfish to let the child in me upset?

If my 4 year old self saw me now, would she be proud of me for being the way I am? What happened to the girl who vowed to herself to never get a B in her whole life again? What happened to that girl? Where has she gone? Who is this selfish girl who is thinking of how life would be easier if she didn't do medicine? All the people that would be counting on her in the future, is she going to let them down?

An acceptance to the world prestigious schools, Le Cordon Bleu and Les Roches. Is it enough? I got into those schools, does it mean, I have to go? Do I have to succumb myself to a job of fun just because I'm too selfish to care about the rest of the world? I said to myself, I would donate the money I get to charity, so that they can use it. 

Then it hit me, really? Stupid girl. Half of the money donated to charity don't even reach those that the money was intended for. You have a chance to make a change in the world. And you're giving it all up for hospitality and management? Really? Is it worth the years spent in science stream? All those years, so focused on being a doctor. Being a surgeon. Being a scientist, being a research specialist. Hopefully winning the Nobel Prize one day, all to crush the little girls dream? My dream as I was a kid. 

I don't think so. I'm not going to say that I can't. I'm not going to wallow in self pity. I am going to believe that I can do it. In 5 years time, I will be a graduate from one of the World's most renowned School of Medicine in my graduation robe and that would be the day, the little girl in me would give a pat on my back and say "Well Done" and that would be the day, my parents can look at me and say, "She's my girl". 

Honestly, everything that has been holding me back is not worth it. My whole future just because of frivolous things? I don't think so. It's time I said stop. Time I said enough is enough. Time for me to make a change. Time for me to live up to my true purpose in life. I know I was made for a greater purpose. I want to help mankind. Everyone was made for a purpose. They were made to fulfill a greater being, God. To serve mankind and to do good. (God, I feel like a preacher)

I know you might be thinking, what can one person do? How big of a difference can one person make? Honestly, there are so many things that one person can do. You have to be the person you want others to be. You have to make the change you want to see in others. It all starts with yourself. When you truly believe that you can make a change, others will to and it would actually help you in your journey in making a change. 

You're never too young, too old, too weak or too late to make a change. It doesn't matter if you're tall, short, oversized, skinny, dark skinned, white, deaf, dumb, blind, disabled or etc. It doesn't even matter what religious beliefs you hold on to. It doesn't matter what race you are. All you have to do is believe that you can.

You cannot only say you believe, you must want to believe and you must believe. You must want it bad enough that even the thought of losing something would devastate you. You must put all your hope and dreams on it. You have to divert your full attention on that one thing you want so badly! You must!! You really must!

Don't think of all the reasons why you cannot or all the reasons you shouldn't. Don't focus on the negative. Don't believe in reasons why you can't. If there's one million reasons pointing towards that one thing that you can't or that it's impossible, divert all your attention to the few reasons that it will even if it's only one. Believe in that one reason that can make you achieve it. Believe in that one thing that can help you gain whatever you want. Believe that you can. Believe with all your might. Never give up. Never say never.

Okay, I just had to. 

I don't care what you say. I'm not trying to promote Adidas. Not at all. I don't care if you're a Dassler or if you're a Nike fan. But, wait for it. Impossible is nothing. It's just that tiny voice in your head telling you that you can't. Telling you to give up. Telling you to just let it be. WHY? That is the question, when you have the power to do something, why would you back down? Why would you turn your back to the world? How can you be so cruel??

Nelson Mandela said this. And it's true, isn't it? It's always seemingly impossible until you have done it. Once you've done it, it never seems impossible. What if you saw someone fly, and you've done it once. Would you believe that you cannot fly once again? No, right? It's because we've never done it, that we believe that we cannot. But, if we never try, we would never know, right? (Please don't jump off a cliff yelling "I believe I can fly") 

But my point is, you never know unless you believe in yourself. You never know if you never try.

Just do it, if you love it and even if you suck at it, just do it. Because perfection doesn't come naturally. It takes a lot of practice. Even if you don't have talent, do it, because even Beethoven was said to be hopeless when he was younger. I don't hear anyone saying that his music suck, now, have we?

                                              What more can I say?

                                     YES!!!YESS!!!!YES!!!THIS THIS THIS!!

                                   Seriously, don't wait. Do it now!! Now!!

 Not this, okay? Don't even think of just doing it tomorrow! Do it today! Don't wait till tomorrow.

If after everything, you still don't want to do it and you still go back to the same routine, then, don't be upset by the results if you didn't put as much effort.

                               Look, he's saying that you can. Adorable, no?? :D

I did it!! :D

It honestly never gets easier, you just get used to it. In Malay, there is a proverb, "alah bisa, tegal biasa", which means the more you do it, no matter how hard it is, it becomes a norm. My BM teacher is going to be so proud of me. *beams* It's been two years since I left school and I still remember.

Do place your hand here to internet high-five me. :D Yes! If you're motivated, then I'm proud of you. When you're feeling down, just come to my page and re-read this and feel the fire burn in you. And I'm not sponsored by Adidas, Nike or Kian and Sam. Although, hello, I deserve commission. People read my blog, okay? Haha... It would be nice. I'm personally a Nike addict. Like everything I get has to be Nike, but Adidas has always had better designs that suit my taste in clothing. But shoes, no doubt, Nike is the best. To me of course. Okay, now stop reading and go do the things you have got to do and I want to go uhm.. do my revision.

Wait, this song has inspired me so much and I just have to share it. :) I love The Script and they're coming out with their new album #3. Once again, my favourite number! So excited!!

I'm a champion and one day, soon, I'll be standing in the Hall of Fame. :)

Till' my next post. xx

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